OK - I'm going to be honest. Today is not a good day. I can't stop crying again. I didn't sleep well - a horrible dream that I myself was drowning awoke me at 6.30am. Olivier has gone back to work and I am alone but at least my wonderful cousin arrives from the UK this afternoon. I will make an effort to do things this week.
Yesterday one of my very best friends in the whole world, Angèle, gave me another good analogy which came from her mother-in-law, who was a vicar. She said that, regarding these waves of deep depression and then little bounces, the troughs will slowly get shallower each time until the occillation really does become more gentle. Hope.
But it's so hard. I just want William back. I want to rewind time and stop him going outside after his nap. I want things back to how they were. Life was perfect. I hate it all. I want to wake up now.
ma tres chere nicole c'est tres dur tres tres dur tu es une maman et une femme extraordinaire, tu souffre et tu te bas au meme temps pour peut etre vivre une pseudo normalité tu passes des tres dur moment et d autre viendront ou tu vas t'appaiser meme si au fond de toi william est en toi dans ton coeur !!!
ReplyDeleteje t aime fort et j'espere que tes ecrits , ton voyage a londre t aideron un peut !!je t embrasse et que mon amour t accompagne